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The World’s Most Fantabulous Homes!!!

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Rich and FamousI watched a re-run of VH1’s World’s Most Fantabulous Homes!! It’s probably over a year or two old but it’s still worth commenting on:

O.K. I love luxury as much as the next person. I’ll even admit to secretly wanting to experience some over indulgence at least once…after taking it all in …It’s absolutely ridiculous!!! It’s not just one of the world’s 8 wonders (why people do what the do)…there’s a whole community out there who live ridiculously wasteful non-caring lavish lives. I’m not going to lie!! I would love the bank account! but frankly…I don’t need a 5 million dollar marble toilet no matter how much money I have!!!

Keep in mind: You and I have paid for all of these people and their high life! How many ipods have you purchased, how many times have you flied the friendly skies, how many times did you listen to “Jenny on the Block,” or sported G-Unit and how many times did you go see Lord of The Rings, Usual Suspects, or Philadelphia (some classics of our time)? How many I ask you? This is why I have to take this moment to: Tell it like it T-I-Tiz!!!!

Demi Moore, Jennifer Lopez, and 50 cent come from humble beginnings. The trailer park and New York’s finest. Have they forgotten just how humble? Case in point: 50 cent’s conneticut home has 7 kitchens!! I don’t know about you. 2 was too many, 4 was over-the-top, but 7 is unnecessary!!! Either 50 cent has an Iron Chef competition going on in his house or I missing something.

I’m just telling it like it T-I-Tiz!!!: NOBODY NEEDS 7 KITCHENS!! You can buy a miniature car for your home to drive you to the kitchen if you’re that lazy!!!

By the way, Micky Boardman…It’s not “Fitty cent.” It’s the same fifty that you pull out of your pocket. Whyyyyyyy??? Some people should just stay away from slang or anything that sounds like it!!

One of the most crazy indulgences is the 23 acres of a 16th century Japanese (I believe its Japanese…o.k. asian influenced) village recreation that Larry Ellison built. You have to have a boat to reach the main village. Now that’s security. Mr. Ellison…The villagers in the 16th century didn’t want to live in the 16th century!! –Money does make you dumb!!

John Travolta has his own runway strip??? WTH??? He even has gone as far as to have a live-in flight crew. “Fly as hell” is not the expression that I would use to capture this extravagance.

I am not here to say that there should be NO indulgence.. But, has anyone thought about what these celebrities are costing us? Theater tickets are almost $10.00 in some places. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t hesitate to go to one of the these “Fly” ass homes. Again, there’s a threshold for what I can take or give in this case.

Nicolas Cage’s 50 acre private island in the Bahamas? I would have to give him the Green light extravagance pass: ONLY if I could visit for weeks at a time. Yes, I’m being a hypocrite here!!— I never said I was perfect or virtuous for that matter!!!

Angelina Jolie’s house in Cambodia? I’m not sure what it looks like on the outside or inside but, it would definitely be considered remote. Did she really need that much privacy? She’s disgustingly rich and famous. She has to go that far away to get away from her fans? The ones that made her rich? I bet you that she’s not living like the Cambodians in that house. In fact, that’s guaranteed. She may sympathize but does she emmmpathize?

It’s funny to see how people get rich and then have a problem with actually having to interact with the people who make them famous in the first place.

Telling it like it T-I-Tiz!! Angelina: If you have to demine your front yard …that might be going too far!! literally.

Who wouldn’t love to spend time in Bob Guccione’s house? It’s a gorgeous 35,000 sq. foot home in New York City that may give you an STD but, what the hell it’s Guccione’s house! My other fear may be getting electrocuted by the Chandalier that hangs over the swimming pool…sorry not interested in that swim. It’s beautiful though.

O.K. Tommy Lee is in love with Big Bird? No words…No words.

Aaron Spelling has 123 rooms!!!!! What the freak is he doing with all those rooms? A doll room room? Wrapping room? X 2? This is when you know that the world or Aaron Spelling has gone mad(Rest his soul). Tori Spelling admits to being subjected to her dad’s dysfunctional eccentricities growing up!! She’s awfully light hearted about it. I might’ve gone mad. How can you feel “normal” after that?

Now, I don’t think anyone knows that I’m a geek girl. I knew that Gates was the MAN! as NON-manly as he seems for my taste. Underwater sound speakers? Now how ironic. I thought he was into philanthropy yet he has 52 miles of cable in his hone…I’m sure the green goers would have a field day with this. Hell any one of these A-celeb folks would get the axe by the green goers.

Maybe these people don’t know what to do with their money? I wouldn’t mind helping them out.

What about the PLAY houses for the children? How do you tell a kid ” no” or “go to your room” if they have their own fully functional home? That’s one way to get rid of the kids.

Neverland is the perfect example of over-the-top…look at Michael Jackson. That’s NOT normal!! Let goooo of your childhood!

If I ever took 32 million to buy a home only to knock down the home and rebuild another when there was nothing wrong with the first!!! Please. Shoot me. Are you that good that you can’t live in someone else’s previously lived-in home? Remember people you created these monsters!!! Oh yeah this would be Jerry Seinfeld’s extravagance. Can you please explain this one to me? It’s no wonder we like to see people go bankrupt. Could he ever survive a “normal” life again?

I was wondering when they were going to get to Donald Trump with as much real estate he’s reported to have. Trump Tower. I bet he thinks this blog is about him.

After seeing the churches that some of the celebs help build or build for themselves…I may start to preach Kabalism mixed with Trumpism. Donald Trump’s decor sucks!! Yes, I said it!!! I don’t care how much money you have— I have to tell it like it T-Tiz!! He’s like Male Mod!! (oooo look. New phrase!!)

Why does Ira Rennert need a home this big? 29 bedrooms, 164 seat cinema. No one knows who he is … he can truly visit the theater at his leisure unaccosted. (Is that a word?) He has his own power plant? Give me a break. Do your standards change when you get money? What? NO ONE NEEDS A HOME BIGGER THAN WALMART!! Just go to Wally World!!

Home Security for the stars I can definitely see the need. You can imagine the crazy folks that celebrities attract. Shaq is my new hero with the fingerprint security system!!

The Ultimate Bachelor Pad is of course Hugh Hefner’s home. Again, I would love to go there and visit but I would be afraid of the STD’s I would get from just touching the door on the way in. Yuck!!!

Finally, the most expensive home…128 million dollars? OMGoodness!! I’m truly missing out. When I make my 1 million. I might be able to make a model of the Sultan’s ridiculously expensive home on Billionaire’s Row!! The priciest home on the planet. The Sultan’s home has jewels in the floor. He has soooo much money he has to walk on it daily to make sure he’s not dreaming. The people located around his home have enough money to call the place…”Billionaire’s Row” disgustingly and obviously pretentious. Where do I sign?

The final word: The only other place to go is UP!! We will be selling pimped-out homes in the air soon!!! then of course on the moon…you know about the consumer space ship Virgin wants to build right?? For 200,000 per person you can see the earth from space). Houses are next!!! Don’t get mad at me —I’m just Tellin it like it T-I-Tiz!!!


About tiiz

Young forever at heart.

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