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American Idol – Jennifer Lopez – Sanjaya’s Sexy and A Lack of Latin Flavor!!

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JLO

Jennifer Lopez is the evenings icon.  JLO – men lust after her, tweens adore her, other folks love her to death.  I don’t think much of her as a singer. She performs fairly well however.   I even liked her best as a fly girl.  I do think she actually offered sincere advice to the contestants and took her role seriously as a giver of Latin knowledge. I think I would’ve preferred Gloria Estefan on the topic. Has she ever been on AI? I’m not into AI history so I wouldn’t know. You know me… I just have to: Tell it like it T-I-Tiz!!!! 

How the evening played out:

Melinda
“Sway”
Momma’s hairdo. Black dress. No pizzaz. No thank you!! C’mon Melinda. You have to be believable as an AI!! Right now Melinda is not. No one can save you if you won’t help yourself. I can’t say much about her voice…except it didn’t fit the song at all. You have to make it fit. You can’t sing “Sway” the way you sang the last 3 songs. That’s just idiocy!! O.K. I like Melinda. I wouldn’t even mind if she won. However, I think I would get tired of looking at her and don’t forget watching her smile. She doesn’t just wear the wrong things…it hurts to look at her. Who told her to wear her hair like that? The song is suppose to make you want to fall into a rhythm with your lover. It’s young. It’s hip. It’s fun. I just wanted to wash after this song because she reminded me of my Aunt Bertha singing this song. In the words of Charlie Brown…”Good grief!”

My advice: Please find new friends and image consultant. Please? Pleeeasse.

Don’t get mad at me I’m just tellin’ it like it T-I-Tiz!!!

LaKisha
“Conga”
LaKisha. Keep working on your sexy baby. One day you’ll actually get it!!! LaKisha was working the music. I think LaKisha got into the song, which I love to see. I want to see entertainment. Even her outfit was appropriate for the evening–although I’m not sure I ever want to see LaKisha in red again. She was definitely having a good time. Howeverrrrrrrr….I would have thought LaKisha could’ve moved a lot better than she was. It seemed very contrived and unnatural. She might have to give up her black card (if you don’t get it…don’t worry about it). I guess it may be true, not all black people have rhythm. So I’m going to agree with Simon on this one as well as Paula. She could’ve added more to the song. She actually turned a Latin song into R&B. How do you do that?

My advice: Find your true color…it’s not red. Find some black friends to help you on your dance moves. The rhythm is there somewhere girlfriend.

Chris
“Smooth”

He starts out not-so-strong here. I think this was theme for the men (all except Sanjaya). I’ll have to say…the band was better than Chris. This rendition of “Smooth” is horrible. horrible. horrible. The only part that I liked was the end. Only then was able to yell over the band. He still looked disjointed to me when he tried to get into the song and move. Apparently the song is called smooth but, Chris left his at home. He has young teenage fans that see him as another JT. That’s what is keeping him here in the competition. I’m ready to even say JT has more talent than this guy!!

My advice: I hope you didn’t quit your job back at home!!! Continue to practice smoothness in the mirror. Some people you just can’t help.

Haley
“Turn the Beat Around”
First…Love the legs Haley!! Second…Love the legs Haley!!! What was this song lounge singing and karaoke meets Latin dance music? I was horrified!!! How could she have thought to even attempt this song?? Could someone please help me out here. She didn’t have the power for this song. I’m going to agree with Paula…it is a fun song. Haley always looks good though. It’s funny when in a singing competition (which this probably isn’t) all you can say positive about one of the contestants is their outerwear…or lack thereof.

My advice: Continue to wear as few clothes as possible!! Also, make as many connections as you can because I’m sure someone would love to show off your…assets.

Don’t get mad at me I’m just tellin’ it like it T-I-Tiz!!!

Phil
“Maria, Maria”
This is one of my favorite songs!! Typically, I hate songs being changed. It’s just hard to do and people usually take liberties that they shouldn’t changing the whole vibe of a song– they rarely get it right! I actually liked Phil’s spin on the song! Whaddya’ know? Initially, Phil was a little on the timid side and he didn’t seem to have control pver his voice. However, he got his composure and recovered. He didn’t come out yelling (which was good)…a mistake that can be made by many artist with this particular song. The song was turned from “WestSide Story” to a smooth ballad. It was rather refreshing. The Santana version with..?… is still my favorite though. I disagree with the judges. This was one of the better performances of the night. Phil didn an excellent job. I didn’t even focus on his creepiness. Thank God his head was covered…he listened.

My advice: Continue to cover up the “penis head”? (I read this in another blog), continue to make the songs work for you and sitting wasn’t bad for you at all. Maybe still put make-up around the eyes.

BTW, did anyone hear the guy on the guitar?!! He was “Off-The-Chain!!” — that’s greater than great for those readers who are unawares.

Jordin
“Rhythm is Gonna Get You”
No Sparks and No rhythm. The rhythm is definitely going to get Jordin for this lifeless rendition of the song. Jordin again is semi-cute and noone wants to say it…but she’s just too young. She doesn’t have that “it” factor. She’s not cute enough to have it without being able to sing. She had no rhythm, her pitch was off in more than one spot in the song and I didn’t believe the perfomance at all. When Gloria Estefan sang it…it was sassy, it was fun, and sexy…all of which Jordin has not mastered at her tender young age. She had the least memorable performance of this supposedly passionate night.

My advice: Definitely go home, experience some more heart ache and love and then come back and sing. Maybe stay away from Latin pop songs because they are just not for you.

Look don’t get mad at me – you know the rest.

Blake
“I Need to Know”
One of the better performances of the night. I think he actually got into the song. I think that’s the appeal with Blake. He actually entertains. It adds to the fun factor which I think some of the performers forget. Although at times his moves seemed a bit feminine and unbeliveable and he could’ve turned up the passion!! Latin culture has a lot of passion. Over-the-top would’ve worked her. If he had a female to actually sing to… Jennifer should’ve told him to sing to her to actually hit the height of passion of this song.

My advice: Not much for the evening. Keep practicing those moves in the mirror.

Sanjaya - Latin

Sanjaya
“Besame Mucho”
I think Sanjaya may have found his calling!! If he sings softer songs that nobody understands (ie. Spanish)…it just might work!!! I believed him!! It worked for me. That’s something to be said for a person who I had absolutely nothing good to say about previously. He set the mood and everything.  I was into it. Shhhhhhh— when he slipped into English it wasn’t that great!? But, it was probably the best performance of the evening. Did you see him batting his eyes and playing the whole Sanjaya’s sexy role? I even liked the Stache.  He actually looked male to me during this performance.  I think he liked himself a little too much too.  But, let’s not take away from this monumental moment.  I might have to take everything back I’ve ever said about him…naaaah!!! He’s still no AI maybe an LI but no AI!!!

My advice: Stick with the Spanish!! Stick with the look!!- Hit the gym!!— you may have a marketable package. He just looks so…puny.

The “Latin Theme” was a winner for Sanjaya. A loss for most. Phil was able to get there and Blake was able to get close. The rest were at best good Karaoke sing alongs.

Going home: Anybody’s guess but…Haley, Chris, and Jordin are in my bottom three after this evening. Haley probably is going home unless there’s more teenage boys watching AI than I thought.

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About tiiz

Young forever at heart.

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