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Baby DADDY Drama!!! Is Erykah Badu Exempt from Criticism?

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Erykah\'s 3rd baby daddy?

Erykah's 3rd baby daddy?

Erykah Badu’s fans have been hitting her hard with criticism b/c she has not been wed and has a third “Baby Daddy” and he’s THE THIRD rapper that she has chosen to have children with. Erykah responded to the matter by holding her own and quite definitively on ‘Okayplayer’ ending her tyrade with “kiss my placenta.” Although her reply is a testament to her skills as an entertainer, I don’t think Ms. Badu is exempt from all reproach. Essentially, Erica is a Baby Mama for the third time!!!



One of the things I’ve been saying for so long about celebrities in general is what E. HUNTER said “I have no sympathy for those who seek the spotlight, but quickly get upset when that spotlight starts to burn.” Celebrities know average folk want to know about their larger than life lifestyles!!! IT’S HOW THEY MAKE THEIR MONEY!! If we aren’t interested in them they don’t get paid. This means any and ALL mistakes are subject to scrutiny. Does that make it right? Not really. But don’t whine about the good and the bad that comes with the job description.


I went to school with Erica and acted in a play or two with her and tended to shy away from her friendship b/c of her CHOICES!!! If I had known she was going to blow up maybe…. Lol! Don’t get me wrong…I love Erykah’s music! I love Erykah’s style! I love Erykah’s feminism! But, I would take pause before I emulate her lifestyle choices.

Role modeling: Unfortunately, in the black community celebrities are all that many young people have to look up to. Only 12% of this country’s 250 million people, the lack of role models and failing role models have more of an impact on the African American community than any other. 70% of fathers ARE NOT IN BLACK HOMES! What % of these fathers are NOT PARTICIPATING IN THE LIVES OF THEIR CHILDREN period?? How many of these children had parents with the same M.O.? Think of the implications. No reference point for creating relationships, maintaining relationships OR the non-fairytale reality of relationships. Relationships are HARD WORK and take 2 committed people. It’s like taking a highly skilled job and not having any training. He/she is fine, they are a dime piece, he can hoop, she can do the splits etc., he’s got a job, she’s a 36-24-36…are not qualifications for long-lasting relationships. Yet we jump into them without thinking everyday.

My vantage point: I was born out of wed-lock to a 20 year-old mother 1 of 9 (with confused father issues) and an unknown father who was in the Air Force. To this day, I HAVEN’T HEARD FROM HIM!!! I was fortunate or unfortunate (long story) enough to have a stepfather! I MYSELF AM NO SAINT! I had my son at 17…out of wed lock! My promise to him?… I would make sure he never felt like he was in a single-parent home!!

Never make a promise you can’t keep.

My son’s father died at 7 and the pressure was on to keep this promise. When there are father and son events–I can’t substitute for his father’s absence. In fact, I feel for him when father’s day rolls around every year to remind him of his loss. The fact that he can’t wake up in the morning and eat breakfast with his father or talk to him before he goes to sleep at night pains me. What about those fatherly conversations that he overhears or those that will never comes his way. I’ve always wondered how he felt. Yet, He has never complained or shown hurt. He’s more resilient than I ever knew. When John Q came out I knew there would be no other to champion my own child outside of myself. When it’s time to talk condoms and ladies, I try. But…again. He’s 19 years old now, I can’t seem to motivate him the way I know his father or another male could. I worry about his ability to create healthy relationships b/c of the choices I made. It really wasn’t fair to him.

So as you can see. I really don’t care about Erykah, I am concerned with the impact on the children. If the fathers are totally involved, Kudos to them. Hopefully, they have established a balance that works. Erykah HAPPENS to be one of the lucky ones where money isn’t an issue. Although important, MONEY is not the ONLY concern. When you have NO money issues you tend to be able to focus on other things such as your children’s well-being. Maybe they are showing how 2 parents can communicate effectively w/o being in live-in relationships. Ultimately, whether you and I like it or not…they are again living the life that 70% of us live and we are trying to rid our communities of…w/o seeing positive 2-parent home relationships.

Soap Box Time AGAIN: Just like OJ! I didn’t feel a particular connection with him b/c he’s black b/c I don’t KNOW him. I didn’t win a thing when he won his case. I was pleased to know that he didn’t get convicted just b/c he was black! In the same way, I don’t have any connection with Erykah. She doesn’t represent me unless I want her to.

PEOPLE: If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything!! It’s ok to have an opinion. It’s even o.k. to voice that opinion.

Currently, I’m a single woman who still hasn’t come across her prince charming (I’m not looking either). I can certainly understand or relate to Erykah’s place in life. I can respect her as a woman, mother, artist, and feminist. However, I would NOT have another child without having a two parent home.

That’s just ME TELLIN’ IT LIKE IT T-I-TIZ!!!.

About tiiz

Young forever at heart.

7 responses »

  1. I cannot for the life of me wonder…ummmmm? Erykah Badu is not of the Jones’ Family and along with her I too, might be inclined to think and now tell the lot of you, “a myposite only hopes to be magnified.” Magnify your own life and find just cause to let those life freely and you(naysayers) should learn to find just in your life. And should you not find this ‘just way to lifeand being in that life with cause,’ to Life the best life you can and happiness, too, will follow you.” Those who are not happy…have no reason to smile, laugh, love and be loved! Self Love!

    • Lola,

      I really do not understand your comment. But thank you for participating in the conversation. It starts with you.

      I’m just doing what I have to do…Tellin’ it like it T-I-Tiiz!

  2. I think this is one of the MAJOR issues within popular culture. Everything is a quick and speedy process when it comes to relationships with no expectations of true, lasting commitment. Just look at Flavor of love, Love of Rock, and those other shows where we are entertained by the desperation of fame posed as aspirations of love. Can we please have a reality check?? Sure Erika has the means to take care of these children but what about her biggest fans Felicia, April, and Mya who follow her example and now are VICTIMS of the system? These stars need to get it the hell together and take a little responsibility in the power they yield as icons. Please have more pride in yourself and a better plan for your legacy than to procreate with every man that you feel those special butterflies for. Can we please have a more dynamic role model pool? Can our strong Black families have the spotlight for a moment? Hopefully with new the beautiful, strong family that holds the brightest spotlight of them all will encourage the change. And I hope it propels us into taking RESPONSIBILITY for providing our children with the security of a dual parent home, the EXAMPLE of how to make a relationship last, and what COMMITMENT really means. Values that go far beyond the home and repeat into the next generation.

    • Bobbi Coffie,

      Thank you for taking a stand. I know too many Babies having babies and they think it’s O.K. and they quote their iconic role models. You are obviously a well spoken independent thinker who recognizes a dying perception of family. We have become complacent.

      I need to invite YOU for tea.

      I just Tell it like it T-I-Tiiz! and sometimes I found a kindred spirit that does it too.

  3. Pingback: Erykah Badu Goes OFF on her fans!!! « Tellin’ it Like it T- I - Tiz!

  4. Project Bassline

    Whenever people raise this discussion about celebrities as role models I always cringe. Just because people do something en mass or because it’s human nature doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. There are people who are way more accessible to me in my own life who I do not look to as role models because they wouldn’t make good ones. I know this, because I know them. I know them because I have a much bigger window into their lives and their choices. I don’t know Erykah Badu, I don’t know Chris Brown, I don’t Britney Spears… and as such I would never claim any of these people as role models and wouldn’t direct any young person to do that either because I don’t know about them or about their lives outside of how they are portrayed in the media. When we talk about whether Erykah Badu is a good role model we’re operating under what I feel is a really flawed assumption that this supposition makes sense. I wish when people engaged in this talk they would push people looking for role models to seek out positive people to pattern in their own lives, instead of continuing to reinforce this rather odd notion that stars are role models. As we’ve seen many times, in recent history, this idea will blow up in your face almost every time. I completely agree that celebs need to take the good media attention with the bad because of their privilege, but do I feel that they automatically need to live good because they are in the media eye…hell no. People are people. The benefit of a role model you can talk to and touch is that they may be better able to explain WHEN they fall (because we ALL do) and how to get back up. I recognize that not everyone has good role models in their immediate surroundings and that is a problem that needs to be addressed separately. But to assume that because someone has had success as a singer they should be able to model anything more than how to become a successful singer is a disservice to everyone. ~I’M

    • I really enjoyed your comment and thought it was right on the money but lacked what many of us FORTUNATE folks forget…

      I think the issue is not about YOU or ME the fortunate’s about the less fortunate who DON’T have role models in their lives, next door or in their communities. They can’t see beyond their scope. If you are fortunate enough not to realize this then you are lucky INDEED. Our lives are permeated with media and some of the only things that young people see outside of their pain or current situation are these role models. I didn’t make it that way, society has sculpted itself that way. I will note: Last night I was pleased with an interview with Lebron James who stated that he knew (probably b/c of his upbringing) what his role was by virtue of his status relishes it and takes the responsibility seriously & gladly. –what maturity.

      Recognize NOT all singers/sports figures etc.. are deemed by the public as role models. There are those that permeate popular culture and are EVERYwhere children turn (on their shoes, in videos, music etc.). Children OFTEN aspire to be these people. Who else would they be when they have NO other measure of success. How do you propose to turn them off from wanting gold teeth, rims, and a basketball career? Yes, it is a disservice and there needs to be some other way. Have you found it? I would gladly suscribe!!

      It is the fault of the more fortunate that they don’t DO more outreach and become role models in their communities to thwart the media’s grasp and attention that they have on so many disenfranchised youth. Many of the average successes in disadvantaged communities move up and move on out…never looking back.

      For MY children…the role model is at home AND next door!! For others…
      I’m just Tellin’ it like it T-I-Tiiz!!


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